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How to maintain your manners: Proper wedding etiquette (Part 2)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ

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* If you choose to bring a guest along, make sure it is an appropriate choice.  Leave the wallflower and sulky date at home who will hinder your spirit as you shine on the dance floor…or the guy with an unpredictable behavioral pattern who tends to have a flared temper after too many shots of whiskey.  Leave him at home.  Better yet, what are you doing even being involved with these types of people to begin with?!?  Go alone and be free of the burden of entertaining a date all night.  You will have a much better time and be able to engage the people you truly care about as well as having a better opportunity for catching up with the ones you have been looking forward to seeing.

And if you weren’t invited with a guest, do NOT show up with one nor ask the bride or groom to make an exception just for you to bring somebody along. This puts them in an awkward position.  Once again, their day, not yours!

“No bringing uninvited guests” rule can imply children.  Respect an adult-only wedding if that’s what the married couple wishes.  And if children are invited, please take responsibility that they remain on their best behavior.  Example: crying during vows.  Solution: Remove yourself and bring them away from the scene…FAR AWAY…!!!

* Send a gift when you are unable to attend the wedding, (and be sure to RSVP by the correct date so the bride and groom are aware!).  Proper etiquette dictates that if you were invited, you owe the couple a gift, despite your actual presence at the wedding or not.

Let the registry be your first shopping source to purchase a gift from.  If not, make sure your gift is thoughtful and personable specifically for the couple.

* Don’t just show up for the reception and skip out on the ceremony.  The ceremony is the most significant part of all.   It’s in poor taste to be seen downing drinks at the open bar without first making all efforts to attend the main event.

 

* Don’t be late!  Allow yourself plenty of time to arrive at the ceremony on time.

 

Traffic jam…when you’re already late?  Then watch from afar.  Stand in the back or slip quietly in a back row if the ceremony has already begun by the time you arrive.

Continue with Part 3

 

How to maintain your manners: Proper wedding etiquette (Part 1)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ

By Jaclyn Ianetti

 

Mi scusi…your manners.  Excuse yourself from making excuses to any bad manners at a wedding party.  There are no excuses on a day like this.  Everybody should be on their best behavior and adapt the proper social smarts at any formal gathering pertaining to a wedding: Engagement parties, Rehearsal dinners, and cocktail and dinner hours at the actual wedding day and reception.

 

You don’t need to have a royal bloodline or take etiquette classes to embody common courtesy.

But for those of you who can be quite facetious at times, and/or whose manners slip, this ones for you!

 

* Let’s start off with addressing our most beloved device we have become so attached to…our cell phones.   Ditch your addiction to technology…at least just for this very evening.  Nothing can be more rude than constantly checking your inbox or replying to your text messages during wedding vow’s.  Just turn them off!!!  Somebody trying to reach you will get sent right to your voicemail, instead of the embarrassment you will face when your obnoxious techno ringtone goes off blaring through the airwaves in the room during the maid of honor or best man’s speech.

 

Nowadays, people love updating their status to give some kind of validation as to what they are doing in the moment (an insecure habit of delineating a fun outer life, rather than living a rich inner one, if you ask me).  You are a guest, and you should BE at the wedding…not reporting on it.  Be present, and really focus on true communication with the other guests to get the most out of the evening.

*Sit at your assigned table.  This is a well-thought out plan made by the bride and groom, who best understand the dynamics of the various relationships their guests have to one another.  They designed their very own “compatibility chart” as the seating chart. Respect them, and don’t mess with the seating arrangements.  If you’ve never made the acquaintance of some of the people at your table, start off the evening by making introductions.  Personally speaking, I went to a wedding where I knew nobody at my table (besides an old flame, go figure), and I wound up meeting wonderful people and having a ball with them.

Have good manners at your dinner table: saying please and thank you, no interrupting, no taking over the conversations, never talking with your mouth full, etc.

Read Part 2 and Part 3

 

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 1)

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By Jaclyn Ianetti

Once upon a time…and that was all.  Most people usually don’t get married planning to divorce soon after, but much research suggests so much of what people do before they wed sadly leads them to the destructive place of divorce.

 

How to avoid a miserable marriage before it begins?  Gee, what an uplifting topic huh?!  But it sure is realistic, and can happen to you if you don’t think things through and integrate the right attitude adjustments and mental/emotional shifts into your days leading up to your BIG one.

 

The timeframe before the wedding can be a crucial turning point, as the whole wedding planning process can be rather stressful.  Part of the reason might be that, as a culture, women are often more captivated and infatuated with the wedding than the actual marriage!  So this means an excess amount of energy, time, and resources get poured into a wedding, ensuring the best possible outcome for a Wedding Day.  Get with the program ladies…a magical day is something we all dream of…but let’s not overdo anything or overcompensate for something we’re not receiving in the relationship itself perhaps?  A magical relationship over an over-the-top wedding is much more preferable and soulful.

 

Instead of revving up your bank account and drowning resources out just to make funds for your elaborate wedding expenses, really think about what is most important and what you can do without.  You don’t want money problems resulting from an extravagant wedding to be the reason you‘re relationship is failing…and the resulting woes that come from it all can make a marriage miserable (especially if you’re one of those couples that places such value on finances and/or known to rack up credit card expenses!).   This can probably be the most disgraceful way to end a relationship based on these causes.  Know who you are, who you are marrying, and find a balance in between to avoid debt…and more importantly, disappointments.

Sweating the small stuff?  So he forgot to fix the broken faucet while you were at your bridal gown consultation….Big deal?!   It doesn’t mean anything more than what it does at face value…he forgot.  Cut him some slack.  Step back from your stressed out, overwhelmed state and think of the important things in life…love being # 1.  Do you really want to pick a fight over something so trivial…and not to mention, so mundane?

Continue reading …… Part 2 and Part 3

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 3)

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Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

 

Brides-to-be can have an unavoidable habit of playing the victim…the damsel in distress in-waiting for her dream day to come true.   An “All-About-Me” attitude can erupt, as you feel like the world revolves you for the time being.  Playing the victim is a control mechanism, and you use it when it suits you best…and may I add, what better timing to use this opportunity of becoming “the bride” to play this role?  You may be at a high-sensitivity and emotional peak, so pointing the finger at someone else is easier and makes you feel better about yourself.  But never being at fault just because you’re the bride-to-be can be tiresome to a fiancé who necessarily isn’t always to blame either.  Fess up to your role in the problems you’re facing, apologize and make the necessary changes when appropriate.  It’s difficult for anybody to take responsibility for bad behavior, but once you give up the victim mentality, you’ll find yourself less stressed, angry and resentful…and your soon-to-be husband will be happier, too.

 

Forgetting the smaller gestures can be a big problem.  Those everyday signs of affection are what keep intimacy and romance alive, yet many couples fail to remember to do them, especially in days leading up to wedding as you’re stressed and consumed with the planning.  No matter how big or small, spread as much sweetness around as possible.

Sooo….forget sweating the small stuff, and remember to spread the small stuff that matters!

 

And before you become a heartbroken bride-to-be, make sure not to make any of the mistakes mentioned above.  And the biggest one of all?  CLOSED COMMUNICATION!  Keep the lines of communicating clearly to each other WIDE OPEN…in an honest, non-judgmental space.

 

You want to communicate as a couple and make sure any unrealistic expectations are kept at bay to a restored balance and healthy dose of dreams, hopes, and aspirations.  We’re all human, imperfections and flaws and all that jazz.  The key lies in working through the inevitable hardships that you’ll encounter as a couple.  It’s in the continual sacrificing, listening and loving, that husbands and wives become soul mates on a more evolved, elevated level of existence.

Oh, of course,…and if he sees you in your wedding dress, your doomed.

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

 

How to plan your wedding day hair (Part 2)

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This Article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal store Bergen County NJ.

Read Part 1 first

Just like at your bridal gown appointments, you don’t want to bring a large group with you. Although opinions are great and rules at the hair salon are less strict, space is usually limited and you don’t need anyone’s negative opinions killing your mood. You can easily send pictures of yourself to all of your friends for their feedback. Your Maids Of Honor is enough, but if you need another opinion, bring your mama along. The most important, bring a picture of you in your wedding dress. Believe it or not, the style of your bridal gown plays a vital role in the way your hair should look the wedding day. Is your bridal dress backless or strapless, how high is the neckline, is it a ballgown or trumpet? All of those details will dictate your hair style.  Also, if you plan to put anything into your hair (veil, comb, tiara, headband, etc.) bring that along as well. This is very important as it has the potential to change the style completely.

Lastly, don’t forget to bring your voice and speak up! Some hair stylists get a little carried away and may go off in their own direction and change your style completely. If you don’t like it, don’t be afraid to say so. The last thing you want is to be miserable during your wedding day because your hair didn’t come out the way you wanted it to. You will have to look at these photos for the rest of your life. Don’t let your timid attitude be the reason you cringe every time you pass your wedding photo. Never forget that this is all about you and what you want. If you are not happy just book another appointment or change a stylist.

How to plan your wedding day hair (Part 1)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal store in Paramus, Northern New Jersey.

You’ve finally found your bridal gown. What a relief! Now it is time to complete a few more steps so that you can have an idea of what you will look like on your special day. A hair and makeup trial is strongly recommended. The last thing you want is to end up with a super hard, messy 90’s prom looking hair-do the day of your wedding. Unless you have a hair dresser you usually go to, scope out the salons in your area. Ask to see a portfolio of makeup and hair they’ve done in the past. This will help you decide where to have your trial.

Once you select a salon, schedule your trial. This should not be any longer than three months before the wedding. Too much time between your trial and your wedding might result in your changing your mind which would defeat the purpose of the trial. After your trial, you want to leave with the style you love to have for the big day. This is your day. By now you’ve probably browsed hundreds of magazines, websites, blogs and pictures for wedding inspiration. Hopefully you’ve been able to figure out what type of hair style you plan to go for. If you have an image, or even if it isn’t exactly what you want, bring the picture along so that your stylist can get the idea.

On the day of your trial, make sure that you have enough time to enjoy the experience; your actual hairdo could take hours. Some salons also offer make up trials at the same time. If you choose a salon that offers this, and you will be getting your make up done, perfect! If not, be sure to put on makeup and look your best. It is strongly recommended to plan a night out after your trial. Your wedding is going to be full of dancing, running around and will be quite long. The last thing you want is to end up with a hair style that taps out after the ceremony. Plan a night out with the girls and let loose. See if your hair can keep up.

 

Read Part 2 next

 

Bridal Gown Spotlight (Part 2)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

Read firstBest Bridal Store New Jersey

WHITE GOWNS

If you like the idea of the traditional, plain white dress, you can always add in some color to the details.  There is nothing wrong with replacing some of your dress’ accents with color.

* If your dress has large white flowers, get them replaced with colorful posies.

 * Add a colorful sash.  You could coordinate this with the colors of your bridesmaid dresses.

 

* Get the bottom of your dress dyed: If your dress is not too ornate, it might really spice things up if the bottom of it is a light blue or pale pink.  Hire a professional to do this for you, as attempts of doing it yourself can lead to a dress disaster.

 FUN DETAILS

If you like the idea of a plain wedding dress but would like to add a little more detail, then consider covered buttons or ribbon lacing to the back. Many dress designers offer a choice of closure to their dresses so you can change a plain zipper to pretty covered buttons or sexy corset style lacing. Adding covered buttons is also something you can do yourself very easily and they can turn a plain dress into something unique and very classic looking.

 

*Shorten your dress. Everyone will expect you to wear a long dress, so there is no harm in turning heads in a short little number!

*Beading is always an easy way to make a plain dress look fabulous. Coordinate the beads on your dress with those in your other wedding accessories, so if your hair accessories include pearls and crystals then use those on your dress.  A simple option is to slip stitch beads around the neckline of your dress, but if you want to do something more fancy, then plan your design on a piece of graph paper first and place the beads on your dress without sewing them so you can see how they will look.  Once you are happy you can proceed to attach them yourself or have a professional do it for you.  
*Lace : Adding a touch of lace goes a long way to creating that bridal look. A nice touch is to add a band of lace to the hem of your skirt which will just peep out on the tops of your toes.  Another idea is to wear a lace edged petticoat underneath, which is slightly longer.  This works nicely for full skirted dresses and when you sit down, it will peep out from under your skirt for a very pretty bridal look.

Tip: If your dress has ribbon lacing ask for different colored ribbons or change them yourself.  Or use colored versions of the ideas listed above such as colored beads or appliqués.  A colored lace petticoat is a great way of adding interest to your dress without it being too obvious.
*Dainty Detailing: These can be beaded, sequined, lace or combination and are very easy to sew onto your dress.  You can find them in various sizes and matching colors, including full bodice pieces, sleeve appliqués and larger versions to apply to trains.

Look around sewing shops and online for bridal boutiques where you can make a special request to place your unique order. 

– – Hire a costume designer to “build on” your dress.  A professional can look at a piece and know exactly what to do to make it unique.  Adding an accented line down your dress, or delicately placing jewels in designated places can all add a unique feel to your dress.

 SHOES

* Instead of plain white pumps, wear colorful & funky shoes.  OR have a little sparkle or color sticking out the bottom of your dress.

*Customize simple satin pumps with shoe jewelry such as rhinestone ribbons. 

Continue with Part 3

Wedding “Wow“ Him (Part 3)

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Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

* CULINARY CREATIONS

Since food is the way to a mans heart, why not include some of his favorite munchies at the wedding?  If he’s a guy who loves his snacks, and hamburgers & hotdogs are his type of thing, add them in for cocktail hour.  If you have foods like this during cocktail hour, be sure your reception menu is a bit more “upscale.”  If he’s a big breakfast guy, have a midnight lounge and serve breakfast specialties such as mini pancakes and waffles with decorative fruit on top.  If sweets are what makes your man’s eyes light up, do add a dessert with all of his favorite treats…donuts, pastries, etc.

Take a bridal BOW to the WOW you created.

Not only are all the previous ideas, or any of which you creatively come up with on your own, adorable… but he’ll never expect it which is bonus points!

Seating charts, guest favors, and cake flavors are always on a bride’s radar…but these romantic and personal surprises will leave your groom smiling just that much more and kindly remind him that this day is about the two of you, and not those crazy rants about wedding planning or bridezilla moments over which trendy hue you should pick.

 RECAP:  besides your outer, newer bridal beauty glow, be sure to let your inner bridal beauty shine and surprise him with something sweet.  Glowing from the inside will have you in an everlasting glow on the outside.  All of which makes you simply adorable, and it will remind him how you have truly stolen his heart right from the start…which led to your shared happily ever after…

and now you can be a WOW kind of WIFE.  One who keeps the glow, memories, and emotions of the wedding day alive with the two of you.

This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

Best Couple Activities (Part 3)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first.

COMEDY CLUB Laughter is the best medicine

 

If you don’t have a whole weekend to spare, you can surprise your partner with tickets to a comedy club.  There is nothing better than a night of laughs at a comedy show for couples.  Be spontaneous on a week-night to break up the mundane feel of the work-week when your lover least expects it and go see some standup.

This is a great way for couples to share time watching a more interactive type of entertainment than a movie or the theater.  Make sure to get seats in the front row for the interaction to unfold, because the comedians are sure to include you in at least some part of their act.  This creates fun memories to laugh about for years.

MASSAGE

Treat yourselves & go to spa & get a couples massage.  Or, if you’re short on funds, you can be still massage each other in the comfort of your own home for free.  Rather than watching the same old show on television after the same routine at work, mix it up with your partner and show him your romantic side by offering an oil rubdown.

This sensual gesture will not only put your partner in a state of relaxation, it’s also a great way to express your love.  You do not have to go out and buy any overpriced oils and lotions.  A wonderful, and much healthier, alternative is grape seed oil, or coconut oil, which is also a great moisturizer for the skin. 

To add a little spice to the massage, throw some rose petals on the bed before your partner is home and have the room lit with only candles.  A surprise massage can heighten many levels of your relationship and doesn’t have to cost you a penny.  A massage is a creative, sensual, and sure way of maintaining closeness, that can result in not only relaxation, but a keener sense of intimacy.

Take turns giving each other a face massage, as well… with each person receiving by lying down on the bed or floor.

 

 CRAYOLA, CRAYONS, PAINT-PARTY…

Draw up your dreams. 

Color & draw together your dream mansion, book cover, music album cover, etc.

Trace Together…Get some large paper and crayons…take turns drawing around each others hands and feet on the paper.

Close “no clothes” Coloring…Buy body paint and take your clothes off to paint each other’s bodies.  Or just face paint.   

 Continue with Part 4

Aleana’s bridal shop located in Paramus, NJ. Please schedule your first appointment at Aleana’s Bridal Shop or call at 201-444-1500.

Best Couple Activities (Part 2)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

Read Part 1 first.

DANCE PARTY !!!

 

What could be better cardio than dancing?  Turn off the lights and glow in the dark…pump up DJ Tiësto & have your own duo dance party with glow sticks guiding your way.

…Sweaty is sexy.

MUSICAL MUSES

 

Festival obsessed?  …from small local band shows, to seeing your favorite old-school rock band performance in NYC, to actually hopping a flight headed for Coachella in California, the ultimate concert and annual explosion of music and style…grab your golden tickets to your show of choice.

 

Aint’ got the mula for scoring those tix to huge venues?  Then just make music together in the comfort of your own home, or even rent out a studio for the day/night.  Invite others to come along if you wish (musically inclined friends who actually play instruments, if you & hubby don‘t) & delegate roles of whose starring as songwriter, musician, etc.

 Simplicity of Songs…

A simple & musical exercise: find and play for each other the music that you listened to in high school.  Describe to each other what you were like then and what you were thinking and feeling.  What did you wear and how was your hair?  What was a low point and a high point of those years?

 Silly Songs

Get paper and crayons, play some music, and draw to the music.  Exchange your drawings and reveal them to each other after the song ends.  Go ahead and laugh…

WANDERLUST…AN ADVENTURE!

Whenever you get that gut feeling that says you both need a spur-of-the-moment mini adventure, go for it.  Following your instincts could be what brings the spark back to your relationship, or brings it to new, exciting levels.  Spontaneous activities shared by couples are special, unannounced moments in time when the adrenaline is pumping and memories are made, especially because you’re living in the present moment…and when you do this, you’re truly living.

ROMANTIC RETREAT

Surprising your other half with a romantic weekend a few hours from home can really spice things up.  Try this on for size: The night before, pack both of your bags to be ready to go the following morning.  In the morning, place a note under his pillow that reads something as enticing and intriguing as you wish.  Finish it off with saying “be ready in an hour.”  This is spontaneous and exciting for your partner and can make for a romantic weekend.

 HIDEAWAY

Turn off your cell phones so that only the two of you exist.  Go anywhere you dream of…the mountains, a quiet beach, the place you first met, a spot on the map where the two of you share a high interest of traveling to…somewhere where you’ve never been before.  Experiencing it first hand together, for the first time for both of you, will make it even more so a special memory.

Continue with Part 3 and Part 4

Aleana’s bridal shop located in Paramus, NJ. Please schedule your first appointment at Aleana’s Bridal Shop or call at 201-444-1500.