How to maintain your manners: Proper wedding etiquette (Part 3)

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 * Wedding Day Wardrobe: Dress as the style of the invitation suggests.  Casual or formal?  Well, if it’s an invite with flip-flops and seashells, it’s most likely a casual affair and it’s most likely not expected of you to wear a long silk dress.  On the flipside, if the invite is scripted and gives off a formal vibe, it’s probably not a smart idea to sport your casual cotton sundress.  Ask around to be sure of the dress code, perhaps a member of the bride’s family.  The bride herself is the last resort for this kind of questioning.  She has her own dress to worry about.

Never wear white!  Only a bride wears white on this special day.  So don’t compete with her or anybody else.  If you’re the type who is dying to show off your better-than-ever bod, save it.  A wedding is just not the time.  If you tend to have a more revealing or risqué personal style, tone it down a bit…especially for ceremonies held inside a conservative church.

 

 * Freeze your Frame.  Put a hold on the uploading of photos, especially to social media sites.  Brides can be very sensitive about their image and may wish to first look through photos first before anything is publicly shared online.

Taking pictures at the wedding reception is fine and encouraged…the more the merrier…but do less of the snapping during the ceremony.  The photographer is hard at work during this crucial hour, and you don’t want to get in their way and risk them taking faulty pictures when trying to capture these sentimental moments.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So what makes the best manners?  MINDFULNESS.  The best manners come from the mindful person who is very aware of themselves and their surroundings, other people and the environment.

 

Etiquette stems from common courtesy, sense, and social graces, such as: When entering or leaving the room, going into or out of bathrooms, etc., hold the door open for the next person.  Be conscious of staying silent during speeches and announcements and be aware of the alcohol you are consuming and always practice sophisticated self-control.

The most important rule of etiquette in attending a wedding event is to enjoy the day in a classy manner and bringing your most lofty, positive energy.  The bride and groom planned this special day in celebration of a jovial affair and took their guests’ comfort and entertainment into heavy consideration.  Be respectful, be polite and be on your way to being a stellar guest…one who contributes to the memories being made, and to the pages in the storybook that makes the bride’s dreams complete.

And don’t forget to bring the most important thing along with you, wrapped up in your own aura and expanded into those of others around you: 

L O V E.

 

 

How to maintain your manners: Proper wedding etiquette (Part 2)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ

Read Part 1 first

* If you choose to bring a guest along, make sure it is an appropriate choice.  Leave the wallflower and sulky date at home who will hinder your spirit as you shine on the dance floor…or the guy with an unpredictable behavioral pattern who tends to have a flared temper after too many shots of whiskey.  Leave him at home.  Better yet, what are you doing even being involved with these types of people to begin with?!?  Go alone and be free of the burden of entertaining a date all night.  You will have a much better time and be able to engage the people you truly care about as well as having a better opportunity for catching up with the ones you have been looking forward to seeing.

And if you weren’t invited with a guest, do NOT show up with one nor ask the bride or groom to make an exception just for you to bring somebody along. This puts them in an awkward position.  Once again, their day, not yours!

“No bringing uninvited guests” rule can imply children.  Respect an adult-only wedding if that’s what the married couple wishes.  And if children are invited, please take responsibility that they remain on their best behavior.  Example: crying during vows.  Solution: Remove yourself and bring them away from the scene…FAR AWAY…!!!

* Send a gift when you are unable to attend the wedding, (and be sure to RSVP by the correct date so the bride and groom are aware!).  Proper etiquette dictates that if you were invited, you owe the couple a gift, despite your actual presence at the wedding or not.

Let the registry be your first shopping source to purchase a gift from.  If not, make sure your gift is thoughtful and personable specifically for the couple.

* Don’t just show up for the reception and skip out on the ceremony.  The ceremony is the most significant part of all.   It’s in poor taste to be seen downing drinks at the open bar without first making all efforts to attend the main event.

 

* Don’t be late!  Allow yourself plenty of time to arrive at the ceremony on time.

 

Traffic jam…when you’re already late?  Then watch from afar.  Stand in the back or slip quietly in a back row if the ceremony has already begun by the time you arrive.

Continue with Part 3

 

How to maintain your manners: Proper wedding etiquette (Part 1)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ

By Jaclyn Ianetti

 

Mi scusi…your manners.  Excuse yourself from making excuses to any bad manners at a wedding party.  There are no excuses on a day like this.  Everybody should be on their best behavior and adapt the proper social smarts at any formal gathering pertaining to a wedding: Engagement parties, Rehearsal dinners, and cocktail and dinner hours at the actual wedding day and reception.

 

You don’t need to have a royal bloodline or take etiquette classes to embody common courtesy.

But for those of you who can be quite facetious at times, and/or whose manners slip, this ones for you!

 

* Let’s start off with addressing our most beloved device we have become so attached to…our cell phones.   Ditch your addiction to technology…at least just for this very evening.  Nothing can be more rude than constantly checking your inbox or replying to your text messages during wedding vow’s.  Just turn them off!!!  Somebody trying to reach you will get sent right to your voicemail, instead of the embarrassment you will face when your obnoxious techno ringtone goes off blaring through the airwaves in the room during the maid of honor or best man’s speech.

 

Nowadays, people love updating their status to give some kind of validation as to what they are doing in the moment (an insecure habit of delineating a fun outer life, rather than living a rich inner one, if you ask me).  You are a guest, and you should BE at the wedding…not reporting on it.  Be present, and really focus on true communication with the other guests to get the most out of the evening.

*Sit at your assigned table.  This is a well-thought out plan made by the bride and groom, who best understand the dynamics of the various relationships their guests have to one another.  They designed their very own “compatibility chart” as the seating chart. Respect them, and don’t mess with the seating arrangements.  If you’ve never made the acquaintance of some of the people at your table, start off the evening by making introductions.  Personally speaking, I went to a wedding where I knew nobody at my table (besides an old flame, go figure), and I wound up meeting wonderful people and having a ball with them.

Have good manners at your dinner table: saying please and thank you, no interrupting, no taking over the conversations, never talking with your mouth full, etc.

Read Part 2 and Part 3

 

Perfect Custom Wedding Dress (Part 2)

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Keep in mind that this dress is being made for your body. If you plan on losing weight, plan accordingly. Depending on the amount of fabric and detailing involved, altering the gown could get complicated if your weight will change drastically. It is recommended that you have a minimum of three fittings to ensure a great fit. The key points in a garment fitting would be to understand how you want your dress to look and feel. This includes proportion, balance and the focal point. If you are trying to highlight one area, but hide another, this is taken into consideration so the designer can appropriately fit you. Balance is important to make sure your proportional and the dress compliments your body. The focal point on your dress draws the onlooker’s eye. This can be an embellishment, a pop of color, or pretty much any unique accent. From the focal point, the flow of the garment is important. This is where the eye travels to next. Having a garment that doesn’t flow nicely will be quite unpleasing to the eye. Bridal gown needs to have a rhythm, the flow of the garment from the focal point on. The focal point doesn’t necessarily need to be on the dress. It can be the accessories such as jewelry, a train on the gown, the belt, gloves or even a head piece.

The first actual fitting focuses on the silhouette of the gown. A mock dress made of muslin is created for fitting purposes. Once this is approved and fabrics and colors are selected, the actual gown process begins. At the second fitting, the gown, depending on detail, will be close to finished, but not completed yet. Here you will try on the gown and any changes will be documented for final production. The last and final fitting is where the gown you’ve waited so long for is finally complete. Remember to watch your weight during the custom process. Losing too much could be a big problem especially if your gown involves a lot of embellishments. At the same time, gaining weight is equally problematic as the fabric has been cut and the dress has been constructed. It is nearly impossible to add fabric at this stage. Maintaining your weight or at least only losing a few pounds from the first fitting to the last is recommended. At your last fitting, you will have the final product. All the imagining you’ve had to do will be over and your one of a kind gown will be ready for you to take home. Your wedding is now around the corner. Congratulations!

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

Perfect Custom Wedding Dress (Part 1)

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So you’ve decided to start the search for the perfect wedding gown. During first few appointments you felt exciting, after you realized how exhausting it is. With all of the different styles and silhouettes it seems as though you’ll never find the exact dress you want. Don’t fret. Rather than spending what seems like centuries browsing racks and trying on yet another ball gown, consider custom made. The beauty of custom made gowns is simple; it’s made just for you. It is a one of a kind. You might have liked the bodice on the first dress you tried on but hated the skirt. At the same time you would have preferred a different neckline. To confuse yourself even more, you really like the belt from the 7th dress but wish it had the colored ribbon like the 13th gown. Stressful! By going the custom route, you’re instantly put at ease knowing you can have all that you wanted made especially for you.

The initial consultation is where you will tell the designer everything you want. This is the time to bring pictures and your imagination. Most people get a bit nervous at this point because they don’t actually have anything concrete to see and feel. Have faith! Remember this is going to be everything that you want; a one of a kind. Once you explain your vision to the designer and you both decide what your gown will look like, a sketch will be drawn. Having this visual will make you a bit more comfortable. White or ivory? Lace and/or beading? Train or no train?  After the sketch is drawn it is time to discuss detailing and fabric. All fabrics have unique qualities that benefit the wearer. For instance, chiffon is light and airy, perfect for warm weather or outside weddings. Other fabrics are ideal for holding in the body and flattering the figure. Be sure to share any concerns you have with the designer so that the designer can recommend the appropriate fabrics.

Continue with Part 2

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

Bridal shoe statement

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal store, Bergen County, NJ.

Ever since Carrie Bradshaw slipped on her blue Manolo Blahnik pumps in the first Sex and the City movie, the wedding shoe craze erupted and hasn’t died down. Women have been spending almost as much on their wedding shoes as they’ve spent on their dress! Designers such as Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo, and Manolo Blahnik are all paving the way for the wedding shoe extravaganza. No longer are brides settling for simple nude or white heels. Instead, many are choosing to add pops of color either matching their bridal party or satisfying the “something blue” tradition. In addition to colors, floral, geometric patterns, stones and feathers are all being used. As brides typically wear long gowns, the shoes are rarely shown. However, having a statement pair allows you to express your personality.

The great thing about investing in an expensive pair of statement shoes is that, unlike your gown, you can wear them over and over again. Use this as an excuse to treat yourself to those designer shoes you always dreamed of owning or even create your own. Custom made shoes have been just as demanded these days as designer pieces. This is the time for you to let your imagination run wild and create something that is uniquely you for your special day. Adding the wedding date and [future] husband’s name to the sole of the shoes has been trending lately for the silly, yet creative purpose of honoring your “sole-mate.” Brides have also been customizing the color of the bottom sole to match their wedding colors. The options are endless and creativity is definitely being promoted in weddings now days.

If heels are not your style, many brides have been seen sporting creative, custom made sneakers. This is your time to have fun. There are no rules saying you have to wear traditional bridal shoes. Have fun and go crazy!

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 2)

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 Arguing can stem from many roots to your own habitual patterns…one being having to be perpetually right all the time and coming out as the final winner.  If you want to be right just to be right, you’re going to create problems and pain in your marriage so pick and choose your battles wisely, or you’ll find yourself permanently on the battlefield.  And if something is really bothering you, ask yourself how important it really is.  Are there rational reasons why it’s so crucial?

If you know you must hash out an issue, bring it up as soon as possible to avoid built-up resentment.  And learn how to fight fairly.  Arguing to solve an issue isn’t necessarily the bad habit, as differences are bound to surface at any given moment, but the way you settle those differences can be destructive.  If you wonder why you’re unsuccessful in solving your problems, it could be because you’re not going about it with good intentions.  If and when you have a disagreement, once again, don’t try to be right…focus instead on trying to solve the problem and consider your partner’s point of view.  Don’t ever use power struggle tactics like guilt, threats, and emotional blackmail.  Get it through it together as peaceful warriors…calm, yet assertive.

Are you criticizing and nagging endlessly?  You might think you’re offering gentle reminders or simply being justifiably critical as you fault-find your way to your ideal of perfection, but the more you nag, the more he’ll tune you out.  And that just makes you angrier.  On the opposing side of the spectrum, by allowing oneself to be subject to constant criticism from a spouse, your well-being and confidence will suffer.  Once again, stop sweating the small stuff and losing sight of what’s truly important…in life…and in love.

Continue reading …. Part 3

 

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 1)

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By Jaclyn Ianetti

Once upon a time…and that was all.  Most people usually don’t get married planning to divorce soon after, but much research suggests so much of what people do before they wed sadly leads them to the destructive place of divorce.

 

How to avoid a miserable marriage before it begins?  Gee, what an uplifting topic huh?!  But it sure is realistic, and can happen to you if you don’t think things through and integrate the right attitude adjustments and mental/emotional shifts into your days leading up to your BIG one.

 

The timeframe before the wedding can be a crucial turning point, as the whole wedding planning process can be rather stressful.  Part of the reason might be that, as a culture, women are often more captivated and infatuated with the wedding than the actual marriage!  So this means an excess amount of energy, time, and resources get poured into a wedding, ensuring the best possible outcome for a Wedding Day.  Get with the program ladies…a magical day is something we all dream of…but let’s not overdo anything or overcompensate for something we’re not receiving in the relationship itself perhaps?  A magical relationship over an over-the-top wedding is much more preferable and soulful.

 

Instead of revving up your bank account and drowning resources out just to make funds for your elaborate wedding expenses, really think about what is most important and what you can do without.  You don’t want money problems resulting from an extravagant wedding to be the reason you‘re relationship is failing…and the resulting woes that come from it all can make a marriage miserable (especially if you’re one of those couples that places such value on finances and/or known to rack up credit card expenses!).   This can probably be the most disgraceful way to end a relationship based on these causes.  Know who you are, who you are marrying, and find a balance in between to avoid debt…and more importantly, disappointments.

Sweating the small stuff?  So he forgot to fix the broken faucet while you were at your bridal gown consultation….Big deal?!   It doesn’t mean anything more than what it does at face value…he forgot.  Cut him some slack.  Step back from your stressed out, overwhelmed state and think of the important things in life…love being # 1.  Do you really want to pick a fight over something so trivial…and not to mention, so mundane?

Continue reading …… Part 2 and Part 3

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 3)

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Brides-to-be can have an unavoidable habit of playing the victim…the damsel in distress in-waiting for her dream day to come true.   An “All-About-Me” attitude can erupt, as you feel like the world revolves you for the time being.  Playing the victim is a control mechanism, and you use it when it suits you best…and may I add, what better timing to use this opportunity of becoming “the bride” to play this role?  You may be at a high-sensitivity and emotional peak, so pointing the finger at someone else is easier and makes you feel better about yourself.  But never being at fault just because you’re the bride-to-be can be tiresome to a fiancé who necessarily isn’t always to blame either.  Fess up to your role in the problems you’re facing, apologize and make the necessary changes when appropriate.  It’s difficult for anybody to take responsibility for bad behavior, but once you give up the victim mentality, you’ll find yourself less stressed, angry and resentful…and your soon-to-be husband will be happier, too.

 

Forgetting the smaller gestures can be a big problem.  Those everyday signs of affection are what keep intimacy and romance alive, yet many couples fail to remember to do them, especially in days leading up to wedding as you’re stressed and consumed with the planning.  No matter how big or small, spread as much sweetness around as possible.

Sooo….forget sweating the small stuff, and remember to spread the small stuff that matters!

 

And before you become a heartbroken bride-to-be, make sure not to make any of the mistakes mentioned above.  And the biggest one of all?  CLOSED COMMUNICATION!  Keep the lines of communicating clearly to each other WIDE OPEN…in an honest, non-judgmental space.

 

You want to communicate as a couple and make sure any unrealistic expectations are kept at bay to a restored balance and healthy dose of dreams, hopes, and aspirations.  We’re all human, imperfections and flaws and all that jazz.  The key lies in working through the inevitable hardships that you’ll encounter as a couple.  It’s in the continual sacrificing, listening and loving, that husbands and wives become soul mates on a more evolved, elevated level of existence.

Oh, of course,…and if he sees you in your wedding dress, your doomed.

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

 

10 Iconic Brides and Bridal Gowns (Part 2)

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Marilyn Monroe

  

They seemed, to some, like a match made in heaven: the big-screen siren and the baseball star.  While Monroe’s second marriage to Joe DiMaggio didn’t even last a year, the fur-collared brown wool suit she wore to their 1954 ceremony at San Francisco’s City Hall was utterly timeless.

Grace Kelly

The most iconic wedding dress of all time came with a real life fairy tale.  This Hollywood actress often played royal parts in movies, such as her onscreen princess debut in The Swan.  A trip to France’s Cannes Film Festival led her to meet Prince Rainier III of Monaco and a year later they were married in a dazzling ceremony as she wore a Helen Rose (award winning designer) elaborate, epitome of elegance with exquisite detailing dress: bell-shaped, taffeta skirt with an embroidered rose point lace bodice with a high neckline, pearl-studded long sleeves, and a graceful train.  This royal gown is of pure Hollywood fantasy.

Mia Farrow

 

Mia’s mod dress…On July 19, 1966, 21 year old actress Mia Farrow married 50 year old Frank Sinatra in a mod mini dress at The Sands hotel in Las Vegas.

Natalie Wood

When she wed Robert Wagner in 1957, Natalie Wood looked stunning and of-the-moment in a face-framing lace hood, white cocktail dress and ballet flats.  Sophistication at its’ finest.

 

 Princess Diana

 

Designed by David and Elizabeth Emanuel, Diana’s wedding dress was one of the most fairy tale wedding dresses to be made in history.  Her puff sleeved, ruffled, silk taffeta gown was decorated with lace and hand embroidered with hundreds of sequins and around 10,000 tiny pearls.

The most memorable and mesmerizing part of the dress was the 25ft train that covered the aisle of St Paul’s Cathedral where she and Prince Charles got married.

 Kate Middleton

Kate managed to wow everyone in this stunning gown designed by Sarah Burton at Alexander McQueen as over 2 billion people watched her and Prince William’s Royal Wedding on April 29, 2011.  For her walk down the aisle, the new Duchess of Cambridge wore a French Chantilly lace dress with a plunging, yet modest, neckline paired with matching McQueen shoes.  The gown’s reminiscence to Grace Kelly in its’ lace bodice nipped at the waist and full skirt dazzled the world with a nostalgic sparkle and re-emergence of classic looks.