How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 2)

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 Arguing can stem from many roots to your own habitual patterns…one being having to be perpetually right all the time and coming out as the final winner.  If you want to be right just to be right, you’re going to create problems and pain in your marriage so pick and choose your battles wisely, or you’ll find yourself permanently on the battlefield.  And if something is really bothering you, ask yourself how important it really is.  Are there rational reasons why it’s so crucial?

If you know you must hash out an issue, bring it up as soon as possible to avoid built-up resentment.  And learn how to fight fairly.  Arguing to solve an issue isn’t necessarily the bad habit, as differences are bound to surface at any given moment, but the way you settle those differences can be destructive.  If you wonder why you’re unsuccessful in solving your problems, it could be because you’re not going about it with good intentions.  If and when you have a disagreement, once again, don’t try to be right…focus instead on trying to solve the problem and consider your partner’s point of view.  Don’t ever use power struggle tactics like guilt, threats, and emotional blackmail.  Get it through it together as peaceful warriors…calm, yet assertive.

Are you criticizing and nagging endlessly?  You might think you’re offering gentle reminders or simply being justifiably critical as you fault-find your way to your ideal of perfection, but the more you nag, the more he’ll tune you out.  And that just makes you angrier.  On the opposing side of the spectrum, by allowing oneself to be subject to constant criticism from a spouse, your well-being and confidence will suffer.  Once again, stop sweating the small stuff and losing sight of what’s truly important…in life…and in love.

Continue reading …. Part 3

 

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 1)

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By Jaclyn Ianetti

Once upon a time…and that was all.  Most people usually don’t get married planning to divorce soon after, but much research suggests so much of what people do before they wed sadly leads them to the destructive place of divorce.

 

How to avoid a miserable marriage before it begins?  Gee, what an uplifting topic huh?!  But it sure is realistic, and can happen to you if you don’t think things through and integrate the right attitude adjustments and mental/emotional shifts into your days leading up to your BIG one.

 

The timeframe before the wedding can be a crucial turning point, as the whole wedding planning process can be rather stressful.  Part of the reason might be that, as a culture, women are often more captivated and infatuated with the wedding than the actual marriage!  So this means an excess amount of energy, time, and resources get poured into a wedding, ensuring the best possible outcome for a Wedding Day.  Get with the program ladies…a magical day is something we all dream of…but let’s not overdo anything or overcompensate for something we’re not receiving in the relationship itself perhaps?  A magical relationship over an over-the-top wedding is much more preferable and soulful.

 

Instead of revving up your bank account and drowning resources out just to make funds for your elaborate wedding expenses, really think about what is most important and what you can do without.  You don’t want money problems resulting from an extravagant wedding to be the reason you‘re relationship is failing…and the resulting woes that come from it all can make a marriage miserable (especially if you’re one of those couples that places such value on finances and/or known to rack up credit card expenses!).   This can probably be the most disgraceful way to end a relationship based on these causes.  Know who you are, who you are marrying, and find a balance in between to avoid debt…and more importantly, disappointments.

Sweating the small stuff?  So he forgot to fix the broken faucet while you were at your bridal gown consultation….Big deal?!   It doesn’t mean anything more than what it does at face value…he forgot.  Cut him some slack.  Step back from your stressed out, overwhelmed state and think of the important things in life…love being # 1.  Do you really want to pick a fight over something so trivial…and not to mention, so mundane?

Continue reading …… Part 2 and Part 3

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 3)

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Brides-to-be can have an unavoidable habit of playing the victim…the damsel in distress in-waiting for her dream day to come true.   An “All-About-Me” attitude can erupt, as you feel like the world revolves you for the time being.  Playing the victim is a control mechanism, and you use it when it suits you best…and may I add, what better timing to use this opportunity of becoming “the bride” to play this role?  You may be at a high-sensitivity and emotional peak, so pointing the finger at someone else is easier and makes you feel better about yourself.  But never being at fault just because you’re the bride-to-be can be tiresome to a fiancé who necessarily isn’t always to blame either.  Fess up to your role in the problems you’re facing, apologize and make the necessary changes when appropriate.  It’s difficult for anybody to take responsibility for bad behavior, but once you give up the victim mentality, you’ll find yourself less stressed, angry and resentful…and your soon-to-be husband will be happier, too.

 

Forgetting the smaller gestures can be a big problem.  Those everyday signs of affection are what keep intimacy and romance alive, yet many couples fail to remember to do them, especially in days leading up to wedding as you’re stressed and consumed with the planning.  No matter how big or small, spread as much sweetness around as possible.

Sooo….forget sweating the small stuff, and remember to spread the small stuff that matters!

 

And before you become a heartbroken bride-to-be, make sure not to make any of the mistakes mentioned above.  And the biggest one of all?  CLOSED COMMUNICATION!  Keep the lines of communicating clearly to each other WIDE OPEN…in an honest, non-judgmental space.

 

You want to communicate as a couple and make sure any unrealistic expectations are kept at bay to a restored balance and healthy dose of dreams, hopes, and aspirations.  We’re all human, imperfections and flaws and all that jazz.  The key lies in working through the inevitable hardships that you’ll encounter as a couple.  It’s in the continual sacrificing, listening and loving, that husbands and wives become soul mates on a more evolved, elevated level of existence.

Oh, of course,…and if he sees you in your wedding dress, your doomed.

Aleana’s Bridal, Paramus, NJ

 

10 Iconic Brides and Bridal Gowns (Part 2)

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Marilyn Monroe

  

They seemed, to some, like a match made in heaven: the big-screen siren and the baseball star.  While Monroe’s second marriage to Joe DiMaggio didn’t even last a year, the fur-collared brown wool suit she wore to their 1954 ceremony at San Francisco’s City Hall was utterly timeless.

Grace Kelly

The most iconic wedding dress of all time came with a real life fairy tale.  This Hollywood actress often played royal parts in movies, such as her onscreen princess debut in The Swan.  A trip to France’s Cannes Film Festival led her to meet Prince Rainier III of Monaco and a year later they were married in a dazzling ceremony as she wore a Helen Rose (award winning designer) elaborate, epitome of elegance with exquisite detailing dress: bell-shaped, taffeta skirt with an embroidered rose point lace bodice with a high neckline, pearl-studded long sleeves, and a graceful train.  This royal gown is of pure Hollywood fantasy.

Mia Farrow

 

Mia’s mod dress…On July 19, 1966, 21 year old actress Mia Farrow married 50 year old Frank Sinatra in a mod mini dress at The Sands hotel in Las Vegas.

Natalie Wood

When she wed Robert Wagner in 1957, Natalie Wood looked stunning and of-the-moment in a face-framing lace hood, white cocktail dress and ballet flats.  Sophistication at its’ finest.

 

 Princess Diana

 

Designed by David and Elizabeth Emanuel, Diana’s wedding dress was one of the most fairy tale wedding dresses to be made in history.  Her puff sleeved, ruffled, silk taffeta gown was decorated with lace and hand embroidered with hundreds of sequins and around 10,000 tiny pearls.

The most memorable and mesmerizing part of the dress was the 25ft train that covered the aisle of St Paul’s Cathedral where she and Prince Charles got married.

 Kate Middleton

Kate managed to wow everyone in this stunning gown designed by Sarah Burton at Alexander McQueen as over 2 billion people watched her and Prince William’s Royal Wedding on April 29, 2011.  For her walk down the aisle, the new Duchess of Cambridge wore a French Chantilly lace dress with a plunging, yet modest, neckline paired with matching McQueen shoes.  The gown’s reminiscence to Grace Kelly in its’ lace bodice nipped at the waist and full skirt dazzled the world with a nostalgic sparkle and re-emergence of classic looks.

10 Iconic Brides and Bridal Gowns (Part 1)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal shop in Paramus NJ.

By Jaclyn Ianetti

The times may have changed, but classic dress trends do remain to exist.  The fashion world has seen some

incredible gowns on the runway in the past few decades and think they are as timeless as they get.

Lets take a look at some of the most iconic and memorable wedding dresses ever worn by shining the spotlight on some stars in their break-through bridal roles who are oh-so deserving of their classic, timeless, gush-worthy dresses.

 

Audrey Hepburn

 

She played a water sprite in a 1954 Broadway production of Ondine, then chose a decidedly elfin tea-length, chiffon-sleeved Balmain for her wedding to co-star Mel Ferrer later that year.  A wreath of fresh flowers is what really gave her wedding look an ethereal and magical effect.

Jackie O

(Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis )

 

The fashion icon and future first lady wore a voluminous ivory silk taffeta gown by the designer Ann Lowe when she married John F. Kennedy in 1953.  A portrait neckline and a wide, embellished skirt emphasized Jackie’s small waist…and an heirloom lace veil, which originally belonged to her grandmother, completed the super-romantic ensemble.

Caroline Kennedy 

It should come as no surprise that Caroline Kennedy’s 1986 wedding to Edwin Schlossberg was a stylish affair…her planner was none other than her mother, Jackie Kennedy Onassis.  In a white silk organza gown with a 25-foot train, the daughter of former President John F. Kennedy tied the knot near Hyannis Port, Massachusetts.

 

Elizabeth Taylor

In 1950, Liz Taylor took her first trip (of seven! …Lucky number seven?) down the aisle, marrying hotel heir Conrad “Nicky” Hilton in Hollywood (Paris and Nicky‘s great uncle).  Her 1950’s silk silhouette, basque-waisted gown cost a then-staggering $1,500 (almost $14,000 in today’s dollars) to make and was a gift from her studio, MGM.

Continue with Part 2

 

Perfect Flower Girls

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

When it comes to looking for the perfect flower girl dress, the idea of the bride’s dress comes to mind. In essence, the flower girl is a little bride. This little girl will most likely remember this moment forever as she will feel like a princess. A quality dress whether custom made or selected from a collection, will enhance the wedding’s overall appearance. This is, after all, the idea behind picking the bridal gown and the dresses for the bridal party. She may be small, but the flower girl still deserves the best! A happy flower girl makes for a problem free entrance and perfect pictures. After all, no one wants a tantrum down the aisle or photos of a sad little girl!

The fabulous thing about these flower girl gowns is that they can be utilized again in the future. Many of the dresses are, for the most part, a basic silhouette. With slight modifications, or even just as they are, they can dually serve the purpose as a first communion gown, a pageant gown or even a holiday dress. This is definitely worth taking into consideration if you are a bit skeptical on the price, although they are quite reasonable considering the craftsmanship and quality. If a traditional silhouette isn’t a good fit for the theme of the wedding, going the custom made route is always an option. What a way to really make her feel special!

Aleana’s Bridal presenting a stunning collection by Joan Calabrese, one of the leading designers in flower girl/girl’s special occasion gowns. All of the dresses are designed with a bridal elegance state of mind. The dresses are very detailed and are of amazing quality. The dresses come in white and ivory and with all sorts of embellishments to perfectly match any bride’s gown. To visit our store please call at 201-444-1500.

 

Bridal Gown Spotlight (Part 3)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

Read first Part 1 and Part 2

 

Gypsy Princess

To stand out as a bride, wear a tiara…or an exclusive, hand-made flower hippie headband to be placed upon your crown…bohemian beautiful.

  REVIEW

It’s all about adding & accessorizing withoutbeing tacky.

 Adding some color :  A wedding dress does not have to be one plain color.  Sometimes adding a splash of color can make your dress stand out of the crowd.  By adding color to your wedding dress, you are making your dress unique and giving it your own style.

Adding a ribbon on the waist can show off your curves and your individuality.  Use the colors of your bridesmaid’s dresses as a clue to the right color, and you will look wonderful together.  Your train could also include a little bit of this color.  Adding a color can be done anywhere including in your hair, with the bouquet, or many other options.  This option is a very modern idea and can translate into some very beautiful pictures. 

 Accessories: A bride’s wedding look is not just about the dress.  The dress is not complete without some accessories.  These can include your hairpiece, bouquet and shoes.  For your hair, you can choose to go with a simple veil, or try something like a crown.  Your shoes complete your look.  If your wedding is on the beach, do not be afraid to go barefoot or in sandals.  The best way to keep your look unique is to have fun and remember that this is your day and you make the rules.  If you want to add accessories to the dress itself, you can add bows, buttons, or other embellishments to the dress.

Unique add-ons to your dress will make the dress seem more like your own. Every bride should have a wedding dress that makes her feel beautiful, but also reflects her own style.  Add or subtract sleeves, add color, and do not forget some accessories and you will have a wedding day look that everyone will remember.

(Refer to article “Love your Body” Brides by body-type : what’s your aisle style? For a detailed dress guide & more gown inspiration). 

 

Bridal Gown Spotlight (Part 1)

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By Jaclyn Ianetti

 What makes your bridal gown unique? 

What sets you apart from all other brides? 

It’s not about fancy designer labels and price tags.  It’s about taste.  If your dress matches your fashion personality, then it will be sure to speak unique.

Gown Guidance …And always let your CLOSET be your guide

First, you must build on your own everyday look.  Whether you’re a trendsetter or the more laid-back type, go to your closet for some inspiration.  The muse is your closet.  It will help guide you towards a gown that showcases your fashion philosophy.

What’s your style sense? 

Mod Girl : Less is always more for the cool, modern lady.  Sleek lines, subtle shine, and graphic jewels max out your minimal approach.

 Retro Romantic:  You’re a 21st-century chick with a vintage vibe.  Plush textures and antique-y accents merge the past with your present.

 Screen Siren:  Unleash your starlet power with glittering gems, killer heels, and one very red-carpet gown.

 High Maintenance :  For the more extreme types, sparkly baubles/trinkets, blatant bows, and a passion for pink are your fashion faves.  You’re looking forward to the role you were born to play, princess. 

 Changeable Chameleon: Say you’re a little bit of each of the above “labels”…not a problemo.  That just means you’re one edgy chick with too big a personality to settle for being categorized into fitting into just one type of style.  If you embody many layers to your style personality, peel each & every one of them to reveal your whole self and incorporate a bit of everything to really let your colorful personality shine. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So, what makes your gown so special? 

Creativity is the key to really making a unique statement.  Here are some creative suggestions from gown tips, accessories, shoes, and hairstyles…all of which will contribute to the overall portrait of your style, and therefore, giving your gown the ultimate unique boost you dream of….

 . . GOWN. .

Color

If white isn’t your color, who says you have to wear a white bridal gown?   Opt for a gown in your favorite color.  Wedding gowns now come in all sorts of beautiful ones, from bold blues and hot pinks, to greens, golds, and even reds.

If you’re finding it hard to convince your loved ones (your groom or mom) that color is completely appropriate, you might want to consider donning a traditional white wedding gown for your ceremony, then slipping into something in a bold hue for the reception.

There are even several wedding gowns available today that boast two-in-one designs specifically designed for this purpose: short dresses with long, see-through layers on top; two-piece gowns with interchangeable skirt and pant options; and body-skimming sheaths with removable floor-length sheer jackets (the 2-in-1 dress).  It may not be the super short and sexy shift you originally pictured yourself marrying in, but look at it this way: everyone will be happy, and you’ll get to wear two gowns, instead of just one!

 WHITE GOWNS

If you like the idea of the traditional, plain white dress, you can always add in some color to the details.  There is nothing wrong with replacing some of your dress’ accents with color.

Read more Part 2 and Part 3

Bridal Gown Spotlight (Part 2)

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This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

Read firstBest Bridal Store New Jersey

WHITE GOWNS

If you like the idea of the traditional, plain white dress, you can always add in some color to the details.  There is nothing wrong with replacing some of your dress’ accents with color.

* If your dress has large white flowers, get them replaced with colorful posies.

 * Add a colorful sash.  You could coordinate this with the colors of your bridesmaid dresses.

 

* Get the bottom of your dress dyed: If your dress is not too ornate, it might really spice things up if the bottom of it is a light blue or pale pink.  Hire a professional to do this for you, as attempts of doing it yourself can lead to a dress disaster.

 FUN DETAILS

If you like the idea of a plain wedding dress but would like to add a little more detail, then consider covered buttons or ribbon lacing to the back. Many dress designers offer a choice of closure to their dresses so you can change a plain zipper to pretty covered buttons or sexy corset style lacing. Adding covered buttons is also something you can do yourself very easily and they can turn a plain dress into something unique and very classic looking.

 

*Shorten your dress. Everyone will expect you to wear a long dress, so there is no harm in turning heads in a short little number!

*Beading is always an easy way to make a plain dress look fabulous. Coordinate the beads on your dress with those in your other wedding accessories, so if your hair accessories include pearls and crystals then use those on your dress.  A simple option is to slip stitch beads around the neckline of your dress, but if you want to do something more fancy, then plan your design on a piece of graph paper first and place the beads on your dress without sewing them so you can see how they will look.  Once you are happy you can proceed to attach them yourself or have a professional do it for you.  
*Lace : Adding a touch of lace goes a long way to creating that bridal look. A nice touch is to add a band of lace to the hem of your skirt which will just peep out on the tops of your toes.  Another idea is to wear a lace edged petticoat underneath, which is slightly longer.  This works nicely for full skirted dresses and when you sit down, it will peep out from under your skirt for a very pretty bridal look.

Tip: If your dress has ribbon lacing ask for different colored ribbons or change them yourself.  Or use colored versions of the ideas listed above such as colored beads or appliqués.  A colored lace petticoat is a great way of adding interest to your dress without it being too obvious.
*Dainty Detailing: These can be beaded, sequined, lace or combination and are very easy to sew onto your dress.  You can find them in various sizes and matching colors, including full bodice pieces, sleeve appliqués and larger versions to apply to trains.

Look around sewing shops and online for bridal boutiques where you can make a special request to place your unique order. 

– – Hire a costume designer to “build on” your dress.  A professional can look at a piece and know exactly what to do to make it unique.  Adding an accented line down your dress, or delicately placing jewels in designated places can all add a unique feel to your dress.

 SHOES

* Instead of plain white pumps, wear colorful & funky shoes.  OR have a little sparkle or color sticking out the bottom of your dress.

*Customize simple satin pumps with shoe jewelry such as rhinestone ribbons. 

Continue with Part 3

Wedding “Wow“ Him (Part 3)

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* CULINARY CREATIONS

Since food is the way to a mans heart, why not include some of his favorite munchies at the wedding?  If he’s a guy who loves his snacks, and hamburgers & hotdogs are his type of thing, add them in for cocktail hour.  If you have foods like this during cocktail hour, be sure your reception menu is a bit more “upscale.”  If he’s a big breakfast guy, have a midnight lounge and serve breakfast specialties such as mini pancakes and waffles with decorative fruit on top.  If sweets are what makes your man’s eyes light up, do add a dessert with all of his favorite treats…donuts, pastries, etc.

Take a bridal BOW to the WOW you created.

Not only are all the previous ideas, or any of which you creatively come up with on your own, adorable… but he’ll never expect it which is bonus points!

Seating charts, guest favors, and cake flavors are always on a bride’s radar…but these romantic and personal surprises will leave your groom smiling just that much more and kindly remind him that this day is about the two of you, and not those crazy rants about wedding planning or bridezilla moments over which trendy hue you should pick.

 RECAP:  besides your outer, newer bridal beauty glow, be sure to let your inner bridal beauty shine and surprise him with something sweet.  Glowing from the inside will have you in an everlasting glow on the outside.  All of which makes you simply adorable, and it will remind him how you have truly stolen his heart right from the start…which led to your shared happily ever after…

and now you can be a WOW kind of WIFE.  One who keeps the glow, memories, and emotions of the wedding day alive with the two of you.

This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.