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How to Sabotage your Marriage… …Before it Begins (Part 1)

By Jaclyn Ianetti

 

Once upon a time…and that was all.  Most people usually don’t get married planning to divorce soon after, but much research suggests so much of what people do before they wed sadly leads them to the destructive place of divorce.

 

How to avoid a miserable marriage before it begins?  Gee, what an uplifting topic huh?!  But it sure is realistic, and can happen to you if you don’t think things through and integrate the right attitude adjustments and mental/emotional shifts into your days leading up to your BIG one.

 

The timeframe before the wedding can be a crucial turning point, as the whole wedding planning process can be rather stressful.  Part of the reason might be that, as a culture, women are often more captivated and infatuated with the wedding than the actual marriage!  So this means an excess amount of energy, time, and resources get poured into a wedding, ensuring the best possible outcome for a Wedding Day.  Get with the program ladies…a magical day is something we all dream of…but let’s not overdo anything or overcompensate for something we’re not receiving in the relationship itself perhaps?  A magical relationship over an over-the-top wedding is much more preferable and soulful.

 

Instead of revving up your bank account and drowning resources out just to make funds for your elaborate wedding expenses, really think about what is most important and what you can do without.  You don’t want money problems resulting from an extravagant wedding to be the reason you‘re relationship is failing…and the resulting woes that come from it all can make a marriage miserable (especially if you’re one of those couples that places such value on finances and/or known to rack up credit card expenses!).   This can probably be the most disgraceful way to end a relationship based on these causes.  Know who you are, who you are marrying, and find a balance in between to avoid debt…and more importantly, disappointments.

Sweating the small stuff?  So he forgot to fix the broken faucet while you were at your bridal gown consultation….Big deal?!   It doesn’t mean anything more than what it does at face value…he forgot.  Cut him some slack.  Step back from your stressed out, overwhelmed state and think of the important things in life…love being # 1.  Do you really want to pick a fight over something so trivial…and not to mention, so mundane?

Continue reading …… Part 2 and Part 3

Photo credit to  hang_in_there on Flickr.

 

Your Bridal Fitting Room Experience

This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal shop.

 

The fitting room can be a scary place for a lot of people. In stores, we go in with items we like and we are usually alone. Here we can pass judgment on whether if not we like something. Sometimes we will get the opinion of a friend, but for the most part, we let our own expertise on our bodies decide if we like something or not.

In the bridal industry, you are never alone in a fitting room. You will always be assisted by your bridal consultant. This can be uncomfortable for some people which is why it is always recommended to go to the appointment in undergarments you feel comfortable being seen in. Just remember, this is a judge free environment. Your consultant is there to help you look your best, not judge the way you look. Bridal dresses are made for all shapes and sizes and your consultant will help you to find the best dress for your body.

Have faith! Keep an open mind and most importantly, never verbally abuse yourself. There is nothing more frustrating to your consultant or the people you brought along than hearing you talk bad about yourself. They are all on your side and want to help you look perfect. If you don’t like something about your body and wish to hide it, let your consultant know. This can easily be accommodated. Stay positive; your dress is out there and you are going to look fabulous. Also, give feedback. There is no shame in letting the consultant know you don’t like something or the style isn’t for you, but remember to keep an open mind. What you might think would look awful on you could potentially end up being the dress.

Please visit Aleana’s Bridal Shop in Paramus NJ to make your bridal shopping experience pleasant!

Wedding “Wow“ Him (Part 2)

Read first Part 1

* EMOTIVE MUSIC

Walk down the aisle to a song (with a slow tempo) that tells the story of your relationship.  One that was meaningful when you were dating, or one of your songs that you both share a love for.

* SURPRISE SPEECH 

I know, I know…I previously said men aren’t as much into words as they are into actions.  But this is a collaboration of both, putting words into the action of public speaking, addressing nobody but him at your wedding.  A sentimental speech he never would expect?  Def. a WOW factor!

 * SNEAK-A-WAY 

You’re a loyal woman, but allow yourself a free pass to be a sneak…and steal your man and whisk him into a secret hide-a-way….

After the vows, you can maybe plan on surprising him with going somewhere alone, just the two of you.  Depending upon the location of course, you can be creative and have the venue set up something accordingly.  A secret garden spot outdoors…or if it’s a Destination Wedding (let’s say in Italy), a boat ride for two.

The guests will be lingering with conversation during the cocktail hour and it’s the perfect time to sneak a romantic, magical moment.

* GIFTS

You can send a surprise gift to his house the morning of the wedding…or melt his heart with all the ways he had melted yours from day one…

If you saved all the mush scattered around the house from past birthdays, special occasions, holidays, anniversaries, etc. or tucked them into a safe place out of a sight, bring it back into the open and use it as a gift to give to him in this way: Every love note (letter, card, etc.) can be published into a leather-bound journal with love letters written in a script & fairytale font.  This can be from anything you once gave to him, or those sentiments of which he gave to you, or incorporate both!  You can present this as a gift to him on the wedding day, placing the book on the head table of where you two will be seated.  It doesn’t cost a lot, but the sentiment is priceless.

He put a ring on yours, so put a ring back on his!   Engrave the inside of his wedding band with something completely full of mush, a verse, your wedding dates or something that is sure to make him laugh.  Instead of just presenting the ring itself, an engraved one will give it a personalized touch.  A ring is an empty circle, but an engraved one is a ring much more filled with meaning.

Continue reading Part 3

This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop, Bergen County NJ.

BRIDAL SHOP near OAKLAND BERGEN COUNTY NJ

Aleana’s Bridal is your Bridal Shop near Oakland, Bergen County, NJ.

We invite our Oakland customers to come see our great collection of bridal dresses and sets that are only offered in our Paramus store in Bergen County. Every garment can be modified to enhance a beauty of any body type.

We’ve recently expanded our help our Mothers in the area find the perfect gown for their daughter/son’s wedding. We understand that finding the right gown for this special event can difficult. You are a very important part of this event and you want to look your best. Chances are you’ve found plenty of gowns that had parts that you liked, but not the whole package. You may have a color in mind, but can’t find anything that looks right on you in that shade.

With all of the different styles and silhouettes it seems as though you’ll never find the exact dress you want. Don’t fret. Rather than spending what seems like centuries browsing racks and trying on yet typical Mother of the Bride dress, consider custom made. The beauty of custom made gowns is simple; it’s made just for you. It is a one of a kind. As the second most important woman at the wedding, our 100% silk fabrications and one of a kind designs will make you feel like royalty.

We also exhibit a wide selection of European lingerie and lounge wear that can only be found at our boutique as well as custom gowns.

Aleana’s Bridal offers a more than convenient production time frame, which is often unheard of in the fashion industry: You can pick up your dress in 3 months, without paying any “rush” order fees!

Book your appointment today and we will guide you to create a dress that is the essence of you.

Please call us at 201-444-1500 or book your appointment on line at www.aleanasbridal.com.

Destined to be your Destination…(Part 3)

Your Destination Wedding

Read first Part 1 and Part 2.

…California Napa Valley…for the “wedded wino”…just joking.  Who doesn’t love vino?

 

The Mediterranean:  Exotic European countries and castles…Calling all princesses!

— Europe is a destination full of history, romance and lush landscape, which will make your wedding day truly magical.

 

VivaLas Vegas!

Spur of the moment road trips or red-eyes that unfold into craps games lasting deep into the night, accompanied by all-you-can-eat buffets amidst flashing lights and eager participants…the Vegas impression of a true Vegas Vacation.  If this sounds appealing to you, why not gather the gang and head out for Vegas wedding?

 

Las Vegas is still the place for bright lights and big dreams, but the city that was once that drive-through wedding capital and a refuge for forgotten weekends has also transitioned into a luxury hot spot.  In this oasis of upscale, full-blown destination weddings, luxe honeymoons have become more of he rule than the exception, and nowhere is the promise of both better realized than at The Palazzo and The Venetian.  Check out both of these quality hotels for your wedding ceremony, reception, and honeymoon.

 

***Travel Tip for Packing: Carry some lavender essential oil in your toiletry travel bag…Lavender has been associated with sensuality throughout history.  It’s been said Cleopatra used lavender to seduce Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony.  In the modern day, lavender is a customary tradition to put under the pillow of newlyweds to encourage passion.

 

 

** A Gown-to-Go **

The destination wedding has one main idea in mind…you go there to experience.  And while you’re experiencing, it’s usually ideal to keep the theme of that area or country as a part of your wedding.

 

(See “Theme Weddings” for more detailed ideas)

Theme Weddings)

 

And keep in mind that you will want to have the appropriate wedding gown to go with the theme of your destination.  For instance, you may have to avoid long trains and other types of fabrics for a beach wedding if you plan on walking on and through sand to meet your future hubby at the alter nearer to the water…which means it may be windy, and you will have to have the appropriate hairstyle to avoid hair mishaps…and mess-ups, as well.  Make the best choice of fashion according to your surroundings.

 

DESIGN YOUR DESTINATION

If you and your man are rock stars, book it at a fancy Hard Rock Hotel somewhere at a location that you both love.  One of the hottest, top selling resorts for 2013 is the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.

 

The point is to get creative as a couple with designing your destination and molding it to fit your unique personalities and style.

 

Enchanting and beautiful, a destination wedding event is suitable for all ages and offers a different twist on the usual wedding affair…that nobody

will ever forget.

This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop located in the town of Paramus, NJ – Bergen County.

Married Hearts… First Valentine’s Day (Part 4)

Read Part 1, Part 2 , and Part 3

Gifts 

Besides the usual….Red roses, lush bouquets of flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, candies, candles, gourmet gifts, champagne, jewelry, lingerie (for you), silky boxers (for him)…Here are some romantic gestures for you to give to your guy-for-life:

 

*Send him a wild flowered bouquet with a personalized note attached.

*Make him breakfast in bed along with some red roses.

*Prepare his favorite dessert and surprise him.

*Make a calendar with pictures of the two of you together.

*Stick some love-notes all over the house at different places for him.

*Purchase front row tickets to watch his favorite sport live.

*Lay down on his chest and hug him like you would never give him away for anything in the entire world.

 ( Idea found on pin interest )

 

Take 12 large envelopes … on each one, write the month, so start with February, next March, and so on until you reach next January (2014).
In each envelope you will put a date night in it…whether it’s a nice candle-lit dinner at home, or movies…or something you know he’s always wanted to do or go to…if you decide movies, go get a gift card and stick it into the envelope.  Each date you decide on, write a letter as to why you decided to go with that date for that specific month.  For instance, gift cards for 2 ski passes to go in March would be ideal.  Cover the expenses as much as you can, so at least 1 thing in each envelope is already paid for.  You can even stick a menu from a restaurant (if you got restaurant gift cards) or if you have concert tickets, stick a mixed tape of the group’s greatest hits…brochures for an art exhibit or vacation…etc…(you get the picture)…just to give it some extra excitement.

 

On the 1st of the each month, open up the envelope together.  Let him read it and then look at a calendar together and decide which day that month you will plan that date night…or day.  This way, it ensures that each month you will be spending time together and doing something special.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Go further into the arms of love by melting into his

…In honor of your first wedded Valentine’s Day,  keep that heart pitter patter-ing! Bring back that old-school, first-falling in love feeling with a classic 90’s movie such as Empire Records.  Skip the movie and just go imitate Liv Tyler’s character in the last scene: let your soul mate drag your weak knees and feet in a sweeping motion on a rooftop…dancing and kissing playfully…blasting a soundtrack by Gin Blossoms, whose sound is reminiscent of discovering you have a crush on your high school sweetheart, and whose music echoes the butterflies pouncing around in your stomach.

 

When somebody makes your heart pitter patter, they are the one for you. 

 

Love is friendship set on fire. 

 

Happily Ever After Never Will End

When you share your life with your Best Friend.

 

ONCE you believe your life is a fairytale…that is when “ONCE upon a time…” begins.

This article brought to you by Aleana’s Bridal Shop located in the town of Paramus, NJ – Bergen County.

Photo credit to Abizern on Flickr.

Journey of wedding day preparation (Part 2)

Read part #1 first

Passion -> Pressure -> Preparation -> Perfection 

DROP THE PRESSURE out of this formula!

Ok, it might be unrealistic to “drop the pressure”…Easier said than done, I know!  But how do you at least ease the pressure on your journey to perfection?  Unrealistic expectations of everything that has to do with the wedding date will bring you down once your day arrives.  So first start off by acknowledging this and slowly try to rid yourself of all expectations and just go with the flow of doing the best that you can.  Once you feel stressed out, you are pushing yourself too hard.  Be gentle with yourself and the goals you wish to reach before your wedding.

The biggest pressure for brides is to lose weight, and how you will look, from head to toe, on your big day.  Altering yourself to fitting the dress you want shouldn’t be #1 on your to-do list.  Find a dress that fits you, one you’re comfortable in right now as you try it on!  This will alleviate the pressure to drop the weight in an unrealistic amount if time, which just adds more pressure for you soon-to-be-brides to resort to drastic measures of losing weight in unhealthy ways. Don’t be this desperate bride!  Set healthy goals and stick to a healthy meal plan if you wish to lose weight or maintain the weight you already are.  Remember, slow and steady steps will get you to your destination without feeling exhausted once you arrive.

There’s no doubt that every bride wants to look and feel her best on the big day, but the constant pressure of it all could be too much.  During your bridal journey, you might become someone you’re not…someone who worries constantly about their looks and beats herself up internally for not sticking to a certain diet and indulging too much at dinner one night.  How many calories are in that?  Don’t let your thoughts consume you and gain your healthy perspective back by taking excellent care of yourself so you’re feeling wonderful by the time your day arrives.

 ***Wedding planning for self-care

You want to look like yourself on the day of your wedding but at your best…your best self.  Your perfect day is quickly approaching, and the main goal of every bride in the world is to have the perfect day of beauty.  Don’t go for a dramatic change in your look, just take care of yourself, and prepare ahead by making appointments for your hair, makeup, manicure & pedicure, etc.

 *Outer beauty is a reflection of inner beautyChoose good food choices and quality exercise.  Eating right and exercising will help you drop those last few pounds without you thinking about it all the time.  It will just happen when you practice a healthy lifestyle.  This not only will physically benefit you, but will help with your mental and emotional stress.

*Try yoga and meditation!  This is a relaxing outlet that will keep you centered.  A centered, grounded feeling inside of you will help you focus on what is important.

Read part 3

This article brought to you by www.aleanasbridal.com.